Spring Collection [Recall]

Sorry all, but I hit the publish button too early and posted an incomplete and misleading version of the content below. Here is the correct version, addendum and changes in green. Please accept my apologies.

Intense Vanity Spring Collection 2006

Glasses—frame by Ray-Ban, lenses by Lenscrafter, $400, covered by the wife's health care plan, so $0
Vest—by Old Navy, approximately $20
Long-sleeve tee—by Roots, $1 from Value Village
Pants—by Old Navy, approximately $10
Watch—by La-Swiss, $69, the name says Swiss, but actually made in Japan. From the La-Swiss discount display
Cross trainers—by New Balance, 2E (wide) because that was the only width on clearance

Hair—by Vi, of Magicuts
Car—by Subaru, five years old with 60 000km
Location—Vancouver, West of Kingsway (by two blocks)

[All of the above are true, honest. As for what follows, if you know me at all, you can probably figure out the veracity of each statement for yourself.]

Time spent loathing oneself in mirror per workday —0.5 hours

Time spent flexing muscles in front of mirror per weekend day —1 hour

"Put a skirt around a chair, hey, I'm interested."
"I judge you by the books on your shelves."
"$15 to get your hair done? Ppppffffff, it better have included a body 'rub.'"