Too Much Information

I spent most of last week partially deaf because of excess wax in my left ear canal. This has happened before. I decided to irrigate the ear myself Friday after work with a small rubber syringe, a hit-and-miss proposition in light of the professional equipment at the G.P.'s office. Stupidly, I flushed with cold water and got dizzy and almost threw up and had to lie down on my bed to make the nausea go away.

The good news is that I met with success. Now, I'm not the kind of guy who gratuitously discloses all the gory details about this sort of thing—how the wax looked like a small makeup removal cotton pad dirtied by facial grease and bellybutton lint, or on closer inspection, like a moldy and soggy puff of cornflake—no, I wouldn't do that anymore than I would show up at work with free cheesecake or raving about such-and-such a book. No sirree, I'd spare you the specifics.

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Well, I finally ate some beef. I've been planning this ever since I've started lifting weights, where protein is everything. I ate one quarter of an "Open-Wide" burger at Red Robin and shared a Macho Nacho plate with the family. The burger was free and we got a three dollar discount on the nachos; Betty had "birthday" coupons. Incidentally, the bar TV had the World Cup telecast on, so I saw Italy win. Not sure if beef will become part of my regular diet.

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Seen scrawled on a styrofoam cup on the counter near the cash register of Opa! Greek restaurant at the Metropolis Food Court: What Is "Pita" Spelled Backwards?

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Seen on a tee shirt, among others themed with slogans about partying and inebriation, at the Richmond Night Market: Duck My Sick.

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Seen on an American Eagle tee shirt: An Awkward Morning Beats A Boring Night.